


What's Written on a Chalkboard

by Cara_Mellow (orphan_account)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, what is writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 23:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10582083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Cara_Mellow
Summary: "The boy with the ponytail saunters up to the chalkboard to write his name for attendance, and John studies him meticulously as he scribbles 'Alexander Hamilton' in messy cursive before returning to his desk.Wait... John knows that handwriting."Or the one where John is pining, Alex is oblivious and Laf and Hercules totally know what's going on.





	1. Prologue

John could never decide what to call the writing on his wrist. 

It would show up constantly -- a good morning message when he woke up, random doodles during his French class, and late night political rants that would leave his entire arm covered in rushed letters. 

John knew the doodles and message came from his soulmate, the person that was perfect for him and destined to be with (Whether romantically or platonically, John didn’t know). The messages could be anything from an endless stream of philosophical questions to a string of bad puns on John’s elbow, but they would always make John smile even when the worst was happening. 

Such as today, for example.

John had woken up before the sun rose in his new bedroom, already terrified of what the day would bring. His father, Henry Laurens, had been elected senator of South Carolina and had forcefully dragged his entire family to Virginia to live closer to D.C. This meant John had to say goodbye to everyone he had ever known and loved and move to a brand new town with a new school he was starting to attend today, but John wasn’t bitter at all and oh God what if I forget my name when I introduce myself and have to sit at the loser’s table and have no friends and die alone --

His anxious thoughts were interrupted when he noticed the good morning message on his wrist, and John took a deep breath. He could do this. Besides, he had Laf at his side.

Lafayette, or simply Laf, was the neighbor’s kid who offered to take John on his orientation tour of the school and promised they would be “The best of friends”. He was very extraverted and had a flair for the dramatic, practically dancing through the school hallways during the tour, but John decided he was a good kid. He had also offered to give John a ride to school since John was only 15, so that earned him bonus points.

Realizing Laf would be arriving to take him to school in an hour, John quickly doodled a turtle on his wrist with a “Good morning” to his soulmate before taking a shower and putting on a warm flannel for the cold January day. He had been lucky enough to move from South Carolina just in time for one of the coldest winters on record. Great.

Sure enough, after John pulled his hair into a ponytail and scarfed down a granola bar, the doorbell rang and John opened it to reveal a beaming Laf. Who was that energetic at 7 AM? John thought, but forced a tired smile on his lips anyway. 

“John!” Laf practically screamed with anticipation, “Are you ready for your first day at Yorktown, mon ami?”

“Yep,” John replied, stifling a yawn from worrying until 3 AM. “Just let me grab my bag.” 

And with that, John and Laf hopped into the car and began the drive to Yorktown, John picking at his fingernails with his head hanging low the whole way. Laf seemed to take notice of this and opened his mouth to say something over the radio.

“Do not worry, John,” Laf began. “Yorktown is great! There are so many nice people, and we have a huge gym and a music wing and I can introduce you to all my friends! There’s Thomas and Hercules and Alexander...  You’re bound to love them.”

John perked up at that. Laf wasn’t going to abandon him straight away, even introduce him to some people, and a music wing sounded pretty nice. Maybe he could join the orchestra or band… If he was good enough on his cello and trumpet (Which was probably not the case).

Maybe this school wouldn’t be that awful.


	2. New School, New Discovery

The first thing John noticed after walking into the commons with Laf was that Yorktown was huge. Really huge. As in 5 times the size of John’s old private school huge.

Even in the smaller commons on the second floor (John didn’t even know schools could have a second floor), hundreds of students swarmed the small tables and huddled in the corners with their groups of friends. 

John scanned the space and felt himself unconsciously gulp, going unnoticed by Laf who was busy scouring the room for what John assumed was a group of friends. Laf’s face lit up as he locked eyes with a table in the corner in the room before quickly grabbing John by the wrist and practically sprinting over.

“Come on, John! These are the people I wanted you to meet!” Laf half-shouted over the noisy chatter of the students. John’s allowed himself to be dragged by Laf as his mind repeated the same mantra it always did before any social interaction -- Don’t mess up don’t mess up don’t mess don’t DON’T

“Hey Laf! Who’s your friend?”

John’s gaze followed the source of the words and fell upon a tall man who looked way too muscular to be in high school. He wore a simple gray sweatshirt with black pants and a light blue beanie rested on his head. His chocolate eyes looked at Laf brightly before falling upon John. Nice one, you’re already out of place, you should leave while you still can. John shoved the thought away.

“Herc!” Laf exclaimed, practically throwing himself into the man’s arms before allowing himself to be kissed on the cheek. Herc cleared his throat awkwardly before inching his head towards John, and Laf suddenly remembered why he was there in the first place. He quickly spun around to face John, flushing. 

“John, this is my soulmate Hercules,” Laf said, gesturing towards the man. “Hercules, John.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Herc began, holding out his hand for John to shake. John returned the gesture and had to stiffen himself to prevent being lifted into the air by the force of the man’s hand. “Laf’s been talking all about you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” John replied. Hercules seemed level-headed and nice enough, and John would take any friend he could get. Before John could say anymore, however, he was quickly grabbed from behind.

“You must be John! It’s so good to meet you my name’s Peggy well technically it’s Margaret, Peggy’s just a nickname and --” John was being shaken by a girl with a yellow sweater and a likely sugar addiction. 

“Peggy!” Laf chided, “You’re shaking him half to death!”

“My bad!” Peggy seemed to realize what she was doing and quickly let go of John, leaving him disoriented. 

“It’s fine,” John mumbled, looking down. In truth, being touched by other people, especially strangers, made his skin crawl, but he was willing to hide that for Laf’s sake. 

“This,” Laf gestured to the hyper girl, “Is Peggy. She’s been a friend of mine since Kindergarten, and while she’s a bit… Hyper, she’s a lot of fun at parties.” Peggy beamed like she just received the best compliment ever, and John allowed himself a small smile that only made the girl’s grin widen.

After being handed a map of the school and given a basic rundown of his schedule with the help of Laf, Herc, and Peggy, John was sent off to his first class before the bell would ring. Even as he left, John tried to sooth bubbles of anxiety -- He felt out of place, like he was intruding.

Man, John would have to get used to this. 

 

….

John had decided he hated introducing himself. 

After being paraded to the front of a class of strangers 4 times that day and accidentally introducing himself as “Laurens” during math, John never wanted to talk in front of anyone again. He would stick to doodling and the internet, thank you very much.

John was glad his English class supposedly had a substitute that day. He wouldn’t have to introduce himself if the teacher didn’t know he was new. John also had this class with Laf, which made surviving it that much easier -- He didn’t get hopelessly lost and had someone to actually talk to. 

Unfortunately, the substitute had no idea what he was doing and managed to crash the class computer within a solid 30 seconds.

“Just write your names on the chalkboard for attendance,” He grumbled under his breath. The man tossed a piece of chalk from a desk drawer at a nearby boy, who fumbled with it before finally securing it in his palm. The student grumbled something about manners before standing up, others following his lead. John remained seated and observed.

The boy, who had dark hair pulled into a ponytail and bags under his eyes, somehow looked exhausted and full of life at the same time. He seemed like he knew what he was doing and had an air of arrogance to his movements, which wasn’t helped when he saw John watching him.

The boy (John would have to get his name) sauntered up to the chalkboard before scribbling “Alexander Hamilton” in messy cursive, returning to his desk.

Wait… John knows that handwriting. He’s known that messy cursive since he was seven and that first “Hello” appeared on his left wrist. He’s known that handwriting since he was 10, doodling on his arm and making stupid jokes during History class. He’s known that handwriting since this morning, when he woke up to a “Good morning” and replied with a poorly sketched turtle. 

Which meant… No way.

John found his soulmate in the ponytail boy. Alexander Hamilton. 

It had a nice ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, thanks for sticking around for chapter 2 of WWOAC! Sorry for the late-night update, I got a new internet router and I'm a hardcore procrastinator, which is a bad mix. 
> 
> Also, thank you all so much for 300+ hits and the nice comments! You guys are great!
> 
> Next update will be Sunday, and don't worry, this story is due for angst (;


	3. World Turned Upside Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's a problem.

John had to remind himself to act natural. Sure, he had just found the person he was destined to be with and had wondered about for half of his life, but he was still in class. 

Keep it together, he chided himself. He just couldn’t believe he found his soulmate, especially during his first day in some run-down English classroom. All he wanted to do was scream “I’M YOUR SOULMATE!” but he figured that wouldn’t go very well in a classroom.

Besides, he needed to make a good first impression. 

Only slightly shaking as he approached the line in front of the chalkboard, John decided he would let Alexander (Alex?) find out for himself. When he wrote his name on the chalkboard, Alex would recognize it and realize who John was, and they could go to a coffee place or something after class. They would get to know each other (Hopefully not enough for Alex to realize how awful John really was) and they could be… Something. 

Something.

He didn’t know what that quite meant, but John decided he liked it.

John successfully wrote his name in only slightly shaking letters on the chalkboard, watching Alex out of the corner of his eye all of the while. There wasn’t any reaction yet, but he hadn’t really looked at the chalkboard yet either. Besides, if he didn’t notice, John could just approach him after class and--

And what? His thoughts interrupted. Just waltz up to him and demand he talk to you? I don’t think so. John hated to admit it, but his thoughts were right. He would never get the courage to really do that, would he? But it didn’t matter. Alex would either recognize the writing or he could get Laf to suddenly realize and tell Alex about John. Looking at his writing one more time, John returned to his seat with a smile and began watching for a reaction.

And watching…

And watching. 

Alex turned his head from his desk and stared at the chalkboard, and yet no sign of recollection filled his eyes. John frowned a little. That’s alright, there’s no need to worry, John reminded himself. Alex simply wasn’t paying enough attention. John mostly drew on his skin and didn’t write often either, so he could blame Alex for not noticing.

That’s when John noticed why Alex was staring at the chalkboard in the first place.

A boy, a few inches taller than John with large, curly hair, dark skin and brown eyes was writing his name with the chalk. Thomas Jefferson. Wasn’t he sitting next to Alex earlier? That was strange…

Thomas returned to his seat next to Alex and, with a smirk, kissed Alex on the cheek, causing the latter to blush. Alex shyly held out his hand from under the table, and Thomas quickly grabbed it, John staring at them wide eyed all the while.

Oh.

Ohhhhh.

That was when John’s world fell apart.

John quickly looked away before he could be noticed staring like a creep, thoughts flooding his brain. Oh God he’s taken he’s not interested in you your own SOULMATE doesn’t like you he probably thinks you’re weird for staring at him so you can never speak to him again so you’ll never love anyone and die alone and oh God you’ll end up just like mOM --

John felt his heartbeat quicken and the air leave his lungs. He needed to get away, and fast. Idiot, you thought you could be with anyoNE --

He quickly got out of his desk and ran to the clueless sub.

“Can I g-go to th-he bathroom?” John asked in one breath, stuttering all the while. He couldn’t stay here anymore, he would panic and his class would laugh at the broken new kid and he needed out out oUT-- 

“Uh… Sure kid, just hurry up,” The sub replied, handing John a wooden pass. John muttered a thank you before practically running to the door, catching Laf’s attention. As John held the door, Laf, frowning, mouthed "Are you okay?" to which John mouthed "I’m fine". No need to worry him. He could handle himself… Probably.

With a shaky breath, John shut the door, leaving a concerned Laf in his wake, and began sprinting to the bathroom as his thoughts accelerated.

Maybe this school would be awful after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't write a story that had no angst, that would be boring!
> 
> But in all seriousness, I can't thank everyone enough for the kindness on WWOAC. This is the first thing I've ever written for anyone besides my friends or teachers, and your support brings a smile to my face (:
> 
> also i'm on spring break now WOOO
> 
> Next chapter will be Wednesday, and I'm going to be out of town so I can't update Sunday. Sorry!


	4. Well, That Explains It

Lafayette wasn’t stupid. Really, he wasn’t. So when he noticed John staring at Alex’s name on the board before grinning like a madman, Laf knew something was up. 

From his desk across the room, Laf carefully studied John. He knew he had some problem with anxiety. Sure, John never said it outright, but Laf saw him in the car this morning and noticed his wide eyes in the commons. At that moment, he decided to keep an eye on John, and that was what he was planning to do.

Laf watched as John locked eyes with Thomas and could feel John’s heart sinking all the way across the room. When John’s eyes widened and his chest started rising and falling at a faster pace, Laf knew he needed to help. Still, he couldn’t do anything in the middle of an English lesson. Instead, he watched in agony as John practically sprinted to the teacher, sputtered out a few words Laf was too far away to decipher, and jog to the door.

There was a wooden pass in his hand, and judging by John’s face, he needed a place to hide (Or, more likely, freak out).

Laf didn’t hide his concern when he mouthed “Are you alright?” to John, and his concern did not fade with John’s simple “I’m fine”. John then quickly left the classroom, almost slamming the door in his rush.

Whatever was going on, it wasn’t good, and Laf was determined to find out. Still, he knew it probably wasn’t a good idea to intrude on John during his crisis, and the teacher would find it suspicious if he went to the bathroom immediately after another student.

For now, all he could do was wait and attempt to put together what was happening.

John had started smiling when Alex wrote his name on the chalkboard, kept staring at Alex as John wrote his name, and practically broke down when he noticed Thomas, his good friend, and Alexander shamelessly flirting. So, it was Alex’s name that triggered it. Did John know Alex? 

As he was pondering, Laf noticed a small heart being drawn on his arm by Hercules and immediately smiled. Soulmates were great, weren’t they?

Soulmate…

Oh. That explained it. 

Alex must be John’s soulmate, which is why he recognized the handwriting! Of course! And he started panicking because Alex was with Thomas! It made perfect sense. Laf noticed Thomas and Alex across the room, holding hands and smiling.

Wait… Alex was with Thomas. That could be a problem.

Laf needed to talk to someone, and soon. He quickly grabbed his pen and began to write on his arm.

"Can we talk later? It’s not about us."

Laf smiled when Hercules replied. "Sure. What’s the occasion?"

"Herc," Laf wrote, "We have a problem."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter kinda sucks, it's mostly filler and I had to rush it since I'm leaving for the airport in an hour. My bad! I might revise this chapter in the future, who knows.
> 
> Still, hope you like it! I wanted to have Laf be apart of this story, so expect more from him.
> 
> Next update Wednesday!!


	5. A Strange Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry

John was done. Done with what exactly, he didn’t know. This school, this town, this family, this boy named Alexander Hamilton. Maybe everything. The only thing he was sure of was his desire to pack his things, change his name and move to Alaska to become a professional ice-fisher. It didn’t seem like a very stressful job, and that would be enough for him.

Unfortunately for John, that was not the current situation he was in. Instead, he was hiding like a wimp from everything and everyone in a dingy school bathroom in an attempt to keep himself from falling through the rabbit hole that was his mind. Sadly, that attempt failed.

Before John could even register what was happening, tears blocked his view of the stall door and his breath caught in his throat. His heart raced, and the normally somewhat stable dam in his head that prevented his thoughts from spilling over broke. His soulmate, his only soulmate, the one thing John could actually be hopeful for didn’t even recognize him. Just his luck.

John knew what happened to people without soulmates, whether their soulmate was deceased or “Rejected their destiny.” They would grieve and spend their lives either alone or searching for someone else to take their soulmate’s place. No matter what happened, though, their soulmate would be absent, and no matter how often they denied it, there was really nothing they could do to fill the void.

I’m one of those people now, John thought. He could feel his heart drop and his body grow cold, only worsening his shaking. What if Lafayette or Hercules came to check on him and only realized how broken John really was? Then they would leave him in the dust to be even more alone. 

But really, that was for the best, wasn’t it? John wasn’t as good as these people. They didn’t run to bathrooms to cry in the middle of class. They didn’t run from social interaction or constantly force a smile on their face to keep themselves together. John wasn’t worthy of a soulmate. Of Alexander Hamilton, or Lafayette or Hercules or his talk of the town Senator father... or anyone. Alex’s unspoken rejection was simply a reminder of that. 

Maybe then, if you’re alone, you won’t get hurt and end up like her, a voice in his head reminded.

John found a strange solace in that thought. Maybe he could be alone. Sure, he’d be miserable, have no friends or soulmate or family who truly cared about him, but he wouldn’t get hurt and, more importantly, he wouldn’t hurt anyone else. How could you hurt someone when you didn’t know them? Still, he couldn’t get the ponytail boy, Alex, out of his mind. John wanted to meet him, talk to him, actually know him, but he just couldn’t without a guilty conscience. He would only ruin him, just like everything else he came into contact with.

John needed to stay away from him and from his new found friends. Leave before he could get too close, too attached. It was the best option.

He was pulled out of his tornado of thoughts by a bell and shuffling feet in the hallway, signaling the end of class. If John could pull himself together, he could leave this bathroom and forget any of this ever happened. He sat in the stall, taking deep breaths until his shaking ceased. He rubbed at his now puffy, bloodshot eyes until the tears stopped flowing and he forced a smile on his face.

It’s better this way, a voice comforted. He nodded his head, almost in a trance, as he exited the bathroom and wandered to his final class. John could do this, he could cope with everything and live a semi-normal life.

All he had to do was be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I'm super sadistic or something but this is probably my favorite chapter I've written so far...
> 
> Poor John, he just wants to be loved ):
> 
> (P.S 1500 hits?! You guys are amazing!!! Hopefully you don't hate me too much for making John suffer)
> 
> Update: I had planned to update Sunday but I sat down to write a chapter and I wasn't very happy with it and it would be a late update anyway, so the update with be Monday May 1st... Sorry!


	6. Perfect

For Lafayette, the wait was agonizing. He wasn’t a particularly impatient person most of the time, but having to sit through a chemistry lecture about specific heat capacity while his new found friend was suffering was Laf’s own personal hell. Why did he care that the specific heat of liquid water was 4.18 when his friend needed him? Unfortunately, class wouldn’t end for another 20 minutes (and 43 seconds, not that he was counting), so Laf was forced to simply stare at the clock until the bell rang.

When 3:00 finally struck and the shrill sound of the school bell filled Laf’s ears, he quickly shot up out of his seat, grabbed his bag, and sifted through the crowded hallways until he made it out of the front door and into the fresh air. 

He stopped to take a deep breath. This was always his favorite time of day not only because he was out of school, but simply because he was outside. He had grown accustomed to the cold January weather after living here for 2 years, so he didn’t mind the chill. Still, there were more pressing matters to attend to. As he began to walk through the parking lot, he felt ink being applied to his wrist.

Meet me at that burger place down the street, it said, to which Laf simply replied in agreement before hopping into his car.

When he arrived at the small hole-in-the-wall restaurant that simply read “Burgers & More”, he wasn’t surprised to see Hercules waiting outside for him. His hands were red and his mouth was covered by a baby blue scarf, gaze transfixed on a snowflake before he spotted Laf exiting his slightly worse for wear car. His grin quickly widened as Laf approached.  
“Hey,” Laf greeted lamely as he accepted Herc’s hug. His hands really were cold. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you since English.” 

Herc gave a small nod, leaning into Laf’s shoulder. “I was wondering about that. What’s up?” Laf simply grabbed his hand before leading him into the diner and finding a corner booth to sit in. 

“Today has been pretty crazy… I think John found his soulmate.” Laf began, a frown setting on his face.

“Well that’s great!” Herc beamed before taking notice of the frown painting Laf’s face. “So what’s the problem?” Laf steadied his gaze onto Hercules’s slightly confused features.

“John’s soulmate didn’t find him.” Herc’s brows only furrowed further, so Laf began recalling the day’s events as he knew them.

…

“This is insane!” 

Herc was holding his head in his hands. This sounded more like something out of a drama than reality. He couldn’t help the pang in his chest for John. He couldn’t imagine knowing Laf was his soulmate and not being able to be with him....

“So… What do we do?” Laf asked as he bit into a lukewarm french fry. This place was never particularly good, but it was convenient, so it quickly became Herc and Laf’s meeting place.

“What is there to do?” Herc responded in genuine confusion. He knew that if this was happening to him he’d just want to deal with this alone. He would need time, and he was going to give John the same thing. “This really isn’t our place to meddle. We need to give him privacy.”

“But then he’ll just suffer alone!” Laf exclaimed rather loudly, catching the attention of the few patrons in the diner. He shrunk in his seat slightly at the attention, lowering his voice to an almost whisper. “He just moved here and we’re his friends and he must have some anxiety problem… We can help him.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” Herc questioned, but not rudely. Someone needed to play Devil’s advocate.

“I…” Laf started before pausing briefly, “I don’t know.”

“Exactly,” Herc concluded, gesturing with the soggy fry in his hand. “Soulmates are complicated. We danced around each other for months before we figured it out.” Laf’s eyes held recognition of the months of awkward friendzones and confusion before they finally came together. “We shouldn’t mess with destiny, it just isn’t our place.”

“You’re right,” Laf stated, but Herc could still see the protest in his eyes. “So I guess for now we just…”

“We just wait and see.”

…

John arrived home after walking 30 minutes back to his home and getting lost twice in the winding neighborhood. Laf’s car wasn’t there when he left the school, so he attempted to remember the way back home. 

That was alright, though. It made distancing himself easier, and Laf had probably already realized how broken John was and left him behind for better things. Everything was going as planned. That was until he arrived at his house. 

Luckily his father was at work, so he wouldn’t have to worry for now. As long as he did his homework, math worksheets and trumpet practice he would be in somewhat good favor with his father. For the first time that day, a sense of calm filled John.

The calm quickly dissipated as John felt ink press into his wrist. He really didn’t want to look at what his soulma--- Alex had written, but curiosity got the best of him.

“How was your day?”

It was innocent enough, really. A simple check in from his soulmate, just like any other pair of soulmates would do. But things were different now, and they weren’t normal anymore. John scribbled a reply. He had gone to a new school, met actual friends, met his freaking soulmate, had a panic attack and was ditched by Laf. It was the craziest day of his life.

“It was alright, just same old same old. You?”

“Just some boring classes is all. Want to have another late night rant tonight?”

John almost took him up on his offer, but it was too awkward now. The anonymity was gone, and knowing John, he would probably accidentally give his knowledge of Alex away. Besides, he would only get hurt.

“I can’t tonight. I’m really tired.” That was almost true. He really was tired.

“Oh… Okay.” John could practically feel the disappointment seeping through the ink. “Goodnight then.”

“Night.” John quickly rounded the hallway to the bathroom sink and turned on the tap before sticking his arm underneath the stream. He watched as the ink slowly washed away and drained down the sink. Gone.

Perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I made this longer to make up for it. I had absolutely no creativity yesterday and I'm still not happy with this chapter, but you've waited too long.
> 
> Poor Laf, he just wants to help
> 
> Next update Wednesday!


	7. Silence

When the sun streamed through his window and he blearily awoke to survive another school day, John couldn’t help but think he was forgetting something. He had done his homework last night, had practiced his trumpet and done his chores, so what was he forgetting? Deciding to just shrug the feeling away, John began to start his morning routine, emerging half an hour later in a basic red hoodie and sweatpants.

He was idly trying to remember his class schedule for the day when the doorbell rang, instantly reminding John of what he had forgotten. Laf still drove him to school, so how was John supposed to distance himself?! Besides, he was still a bit bitter that he had to walk home yesterday afternoon with no warning. He could just not answer the door, or pretend he was sick, or run away to Alaska like he was planning yesterday. 

“John? It’s me, Laf! You needed a ride to school, remember?” Laf’s voice was muffled through the thick wooden door, and John felt a twinge of empathy. Laf didn’t know about Alex, or his plan to distance himself, so John couldn’t take his frustrations out on him. That just wasn’t fair. If he really wanted to slowly distance himself, he would just have to be more… Subtle. John approached the door and swung it open to reveal a slightly disheveled Laf.

“Hey Laf, thanks for remembering,” John greeted lamely as he internally scolded himself. His tone was too harsh, making his statement sound like a jab at Laf for forgetting to take him home yesterday and he really didn’t need more people to dislike him at the moment. He needed to leave his friends behind quietly, unnoticed, so that people would forget he even existed. 

Luckily Laf didn’t seem to pick up on John’s slip up. “So… You ready to go?”

“Yeah, just give me a sec.” Now John sounded slightly annoyed and apathetic. Awesome.

John quickly grabbed his bag from the table near his front door and wandered towards Laf’s car while Laf followed closely behind. John could feel Laf’s gaze on his back and he fidgeted slightly. Why was he looking at him so much?

 

Laf’s gaze didn’t break until John was seated in the front seat while Laf fiddled with the radio. Now John could actually see Laf’s eyes, but they were an unreadable mix of emotions. Laf was thinking heavily about… Something. John wanted to know, to ask, to start up a nice conversation, but he couldn’t get involved in Laf’s personal life. He would get attached, and that was not the plan. He had to stick to the plan. 

Surprisingly, Laf was the one to begin speaking.

“John, are you alright? I’m sorry if it’s personal, but you seem a little off today.” Dammit. John was never good at hiding his emotions. He quickly formed a blank expression mixed with a half - smile before replying.

“Yeah, Laf, I’m fine. Just a little tired. Still adjusting to everything, y’know?” John answered. His attempt to sound upbeat fell flat. 

“Okay, just checking.” Laf made a controlled left turn before hesitantly opening his mouth. “You know, if there’s ever a problem or something you need to tell me, don’t be shy, okay?” John could tell his tone was sincere, but it was almost like Laf knew something was wrong. He had witnessed him leave English yesterday… But for now, John would give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Noted. Thanks, Laf.” He swore he saw a flash of hurt appear on Laf’s face before it was replaced with a smile. Laf simply nodded his head in acknowledgement and returned his focus to the road. It seemed like he really did care about John (for whatever reason), and John felt a pang of guilt stab his chest. This was going to be harder than he thought.

They drove in a steady silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is mostly filler, I just wanted to show how John was planning to push people away and I had no creativity today
> 
> I told myself I was going to write as soon as I got home from school so I could update at a decent time. I took a 2 hour nap instead... whoops.
> 
> Also 2000+ hits and almost 200 kudos?! You guys are awesome and your comments are honestly so much fun to read. I can't thank you enough.
> 
> IMPORTANT: I decided to change my update schedule, they'll be on Monday's and Thursdays for now on (It's better for my schedule), so next chapter MONDAY


	8. Music

John used to love music. He spent months begging for some sort of musical instrument, much to his father’s chagrin, until he finally was allowed to use the school’s cello in the school’s orchestra. Was he any good? No, but that wasn’t the point. It was fun, and that was enough.

Now, approaching the shiny music wing, John had never hated music more. Laf didn’t play an instrument, which was somewhat surprising to John. He had seemed like the artsy type. That meant he was going to a whole new wing with whole new kids with absolutely no backup. 

At least John wouldn’t have to socialize. Consoling himself with that thought, John quietly approached the music room, where his heart immediately stopped.

Alex was there. Sure, he wasn’t doing anything wrong, simply sitting in his seat with what seemed to be a viola resting in his lap, but John was only supposed to have English with him. That was the plan. He would keep his guard up once every day during English and then bolt from the classroom as soon as physically possible. Now though, John would see Alex here too. He felt his heart unwillingly quicken. He needed to calm down. 

Don’t feel, he reminded himself. His face became stoic so quickly it was almost worrying. He was a little too good at putting on masks, now that he thought about it. Pushing that thought to the back of his mind, John half jogged across the room to the cello section, finding a nametag with “John Laurens” resting on the fourth chair. Only then did he notice the girl in the chair next to it.

Her ridiculously black hair framed her slightly pale face and deep brown eyes as she stared out of the small window near her seat, appearing lost in thought. When John approached, however, she quickly came to her senses and glanced up at him.

“Are you John?” She asked. Great, another person to get to know and then leave. He duly nodded.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Eliza, Peggy’s told me a lot about you.”  Noticing John’s confusion, she quickly added, “She’s my sister.” John was only more confused. How could Eliza, seemingly levelheaded, be related to the ball of energy that John had met only yesterday. Eliza was staring at him… He was supposed to reply. Right.

“You seem really different from your sister.” John mentally slapped himself. You don’t just tell people that when you’ve known them for 10 seconds! Now she was going to hate him and they would have to sit next to each other and share music the whole year and oH GOD -- 

Eliza simply laughed. “Yeah, I get that a lot.” John let out a silent sigh of relief. He didn’t want to get close to anyone, no, but he didn’t want to be rude…

“Anyway,” Eliza began, “You’ll probably want to get introduced to the pieces we’re playing, we have a couple of arrangements I really love…” Right. He was in an orchestra. 

“Right.” Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Alex staring in their direction, an unreadable expression on his face. Did he somehow find out about John? Was Eliza an ex or something? Did he just immediately hate John? That didn’t seem too impossible... 

“Aren’t you in my English class?” Somehow Alex had teleported behind John while he was lost in thought and had now actually spoken to him. What now?!

“Oh, um, yeah.” Wow, he was being really eloquent today, wasn’t he? “I’m John.”

“My name’s Alex,” Alex responded, reaching for a handshake. John returned it with only a little hesitance. 

“I know.” John only then realized how creepy that sounded, pulling away from Alex’s handshake. “WAIT I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!” Man, he was an idiot. Now he sounded like a stalker. 

Alex blinked for a second, startled, before he burst out laughing. “I know, I know,” He began, still chuckling. It was a nice sound, full and warm. Before John could reply, the bell rang, and the orchestra director waltzed into the room. Everyone quickly returned to their seats.

John couldn’t get his interaction with Alex out of his head. Sure, he had made a complete fool of himself in front of his secret soulmate, but he also got to hear Alex’s laugh, and that honestly made up for it. It sounded more like music to John than any cello out there.

John shook himself out of his thoughts, mentally scolding himself. Distance. Apart. Right.

This was getting harder every minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Projecting onto fictional characters by making them play the same instrument I do and heavily basing them on interactions with my own friends? No...
> 
> Another late chapter because I am an awful human being, but here you go anyway... I kind of hate it but whatever
> 
> Next update Thurs.


End file.
